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Saturday, October 20

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the garden, 15:45

I woke up very early, had a thought, wrote it down, and went back to sleep again. I woke again at 7:30, read the thought, threw it away, and got up.

I have spent the day writing. More accurately I have spent the day rewriting. In order to write the end I must have some confidence that I am writing the conclusion to an argument that makes sense. I do not appear to have arrived at that point yet.

I stopped a couple of times and cleaned the house by way of displacement activity. I have had a quick lunch and actually written another section from scratch. Now I am outside raking the leaves again. The constant rain has made them into a sticky mass and raking is heavier work than it should be. The cat has joined me outside and has started following me in a way that is disconcertingly reminiscent of Moonshine. I am going back inside. I look round. Sunshine is following me.

I will spend the rest of the day alternating between reading, writing and cleaning. At the time I decide my head wants me to stop, I will realise that I have not left the house and garden for thirty six hours.

Tomorrow I will go out onto the road and maybe walk up and down a bit.

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