Saturday, July 12
Auo died six months ago today, and this affected everything that happened today. On the one hand this was a made up anniversary. Auo was as dead last week as she was this morning, and she will be the same amount of dead this time next week. On the other hand everything we feel is “made up”, and this felt like an important milestone and recognising it gives us a way of focusing on how we felt about her and how we feel without her. I mention this in this way because while I might, once upon a time, have been sceptical about this in theory, I am now, in practice, feeling very sad and quite empty.
This morning was the once-in-a-summer chance to watch Åke and Irma together in the same hut, selling their wares and chatting. Wilhelmina was there helping Åke, who dozed on and off, and so I spent most of my time outside the hut. It was warm but very windy.
Now it is the annual fashion show, which this year lasts approximately six and a half minutes. Luckily I am already out of the hut and fast enough to capture it on film.
In the afternoon we will join Mika and Camilla doing hay work. There are not many people and so we will be genuinely needed. It will be four hours or so of hard working fun, before we gladly join everyone else for some makaroni laatikko that Camilla has made, accompanied by freshly made farm salads, bread and beer.
When we return to the house I will find that Naa has phoned. I will phone her back to find she has leftthe party she has organised for Sampo and is walking outside crying. She has had immense difficulties today, and will explain how guilty she feels for trying to push Auo out of her mind in order to concentrate on getting the party ready.
Irma had been planning to go to Helsinki tomorrow morning, and had already been wondering out loud whether she should go tonight. This will make up her mind and by 21:30 she will have left, and Sunshine and I will get ready to go to bed.
Irma will phone from Helsinki to tell me that Naa is much happier knowing that there is someone at home, and has phoned back to ask if she can spend the night at home. Irma will collect her from Sampo’s and, hours later, everyone will finally get to sleep in their separate rooms.